Hygge for the Heart: Finding Warmth and Stillness This Season

Christmas is here. I blinked, and here it is!

My kids are watching the movie That Christmas (a cute, animated Christmas adventure, if you haven’t seen it), and one of the opening lines struck me. The narrator says:

"I always think that Christmas is a bit like an emotional magnifying glass. If you feel loved and happy, Christmas will make you feel even happier and more loved. But if you feel lonely or unloved, the magnifier gets to work and makes all those bad things feel bigger and worse."

I think that can be very true. If your heart is heavy this Christmas, I see you. You’re not alone.

Even if it is a happy season for you, it’s easy to get caught up in the whirlwind, not even slowing down long enough to enjoy the moment.

So, my invitation to you this season is to pause.

Pause long enough to bring your awareness inside, and notice the parts that are present for you. Notice what feels true in your body. Maybe you’ll notice parts that wants to create beautiful experiences for everyone, or ones that are completely overwhelmed. You might find tender ones carrying grief, loneliness, or longing. There can be an expectation this time of year to paint on a smile. I invite you to bring softness to your system as you become aware of what is actually present. What does your system need right now?

And, pause long enough to notice the people around you. Notice the person working the register, the person delivering packages, your cousin who seems to be struggling. Each has their own story, and their own internal battles. Maybe your own awareness can help you bring softness to others, as you see their behavior as a dance of their parts. Is there a small way you can brighten someone else’s day?

Finally, I invite you to pause long enough to lean into winter’s charms. Notice the sun on your face, the color of the clouds. The snow is like a blanket that covers the landscape (in New England it’s more of an afghan, currently, due to the recent rain). The frigid air and early darkness outside call for cozy blankets, warm drinks, and candlelight inside. Soak in the time with those dear to you. Find the little things that bring your heart peace.

If all of that feels like too much, let this single moment be enough. Just pause. Breathe. Be.

From a therapist in NH: Wishing you warmth and light, however you celebrate this holiday season.