I’ve Started with an IFS Therapist in Rochester, NH, and Now I See Parts EVERYWHERE
Working with an IFS Therapist in Rochester, NH Can Shift How You See Things
When I first started exploring IFS, I wasn’t expecting to have my worldview completely change. I had found a way of working with people that felt impactful, empowering, and nonpathologizing. Sessions felt meaningful, and clients described feeling physically lighter, as if a weight had lifted. I knew I was onto something powerful. I started to apply IFS to my own internal world, and use IFS language with my husband, and with my kids. I started noticing when parts of me were activated in conversations or tough parenting moments. When others seemed irrational, I started realizing that their parts were activated, too.
Understanding Parts: A Gentle Lens for Human Behavior
Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy helps you understand your internal world as made up of "parts," each with its own thoughts, emotions, and motivations. These parts often step in to help us survive, protect us from pain, or keep us functioning under stress.
When you're working with an IFS therapist in Rochester, NH, you begin to see how those reactive, confusing, or even downright frustrating moments are usually a part stepping in and taking over. You might notice that moments which used to feel overwhelming or confusing now feel more understandable.
That coworker who refuses to admit when they’re wrong? Maybe that's a manager part trying to avoid vulnerability.
The loved one who uses substances to cope? That could be a protector part working hard to manage pain.
This doesn’t excuse harmful behavior, but it humanizes it. We begin to understand: every part has real, valid reasons for behaving the way they do, often rooted in the past. Just as your own well-meaning parts sometimes take the wheel to protect your most vulnerable wounds, the most troublesome behaviors in others are parts-driven, too. This perspective opens space to respond with clarity and boundaries instead of reactivity or blame.
The World Begins to Feel Less Personal, More Understandable
IFS teaches that every part, no matter how extreme, has a positive intention underneath. This is crucial. Instead of suppressing or shaming our internal parts, we get curious. We ask questions like:
“What is this part afraid would happen if it didn’t act this way?”
“What does it want me to know?”
“How long has it been carrying this role?”
This approach radically shifts how we relate to ourselves, and others. We’re not trying to get rid of parts or keep them locked away. Instead, the invitation is to learn what that part’s intention is, and help it to find a softer way to get to the same goal.
As you do this work, you’ll begin to notice the ways your own parts interact with other people’s parts. You’ll notice patterns: yep, that part in your partner activates this part in you. You also may notice that the more grounded and open you feel, the more space there is for true connection.
Identifying Your Internal Cast of Characters
Working with a therapist in Rochester, NH who specializes in IFS will help you meet the many parts of yourself that influence your thoughts and behaviors. It could be the list-maker who keeps you on track, the people-pleaser who puts others’ needs ahead of yours, the soother who reaches for a cookie or your phone to numb discomfort, the protector who raises their voice to feel heard; your own familiar key players.
You’ll notice that parts show up in different ways depending on the context. You might find yourself operating from a driven part at work, a caregiving part at home, and an anxious part in new social situations. Over time, you’ll start to recognize which parts of you tend to show up, and why.
Self-Led Awareness: More Space, Less Reactivity
When you can pause and say, “Oh, a part of me is feeling anxious right now,” you’ve already created distance. That awareness is powerful. Just noticing a part can help it unblend from you, even just a little.
Instead of being consumed by the emotion or the reaction, you can stay connected to the awareness that a part of you is coming in, and get curious about what it needs. You can respond instead of react.
This can help you speak for a part instead of from it. It changes how you communicate, how you parent, how you lead, and how you respond to conflict. You’ll see others (and yourself) as whole humans, not just their most extreme parts.
Parts Are Everywhere: You’ll Start Noticing, Too
Politics. Parenting. Social media. Road rage. Once you begin IFS therapy, you’ll start seeing parts everywhere.
Instead of getting swept away in frustration or hopelessness, you might find a new curiosity: What is this part trying to protect? What might it be afraid of?
What used to feel threatening or frustrating now becomes an opportunity for curiosity.
IFS doesn’t make you passive. It helps you stay grounded and connected to your Self, even in the midst of chaos.
Healing Starts Inside, and Ripples Outward
IFS is more than just becoming aware of parts; it’s about healing them. When we get to know our parts with compassion and curiosity, they begin to soften. We can finally help wounded parts who are stuck in the past, and help them release old beliefs about themselves and the world that no longer serve you. Our whole system starts to feel safer. We stop fighting ourselves and start showing up differently in our lives.
When we can respond to our own vulnerable parts with care, we are more able to respond to other’s vulnerabilities with compassion.
Ready to Meet Your Parts?
If you’ve ever wondered why you feel so conflicted inside, or why you react in ways you don’t always understand, IFS might be the path forward.
Working with a therapist in Rochester, NH trained in IFS can help you get to know the parts of you that are protecting, pleasing, performing, and pushing… and help them find rest.
Ready to explore your own cast of characters? Schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation to see if IFS therapy might be right for you.
