Can I Do It Myself? Self-Directed IFS vs. Working with a Therapist in Rochester, NH
How to explore IFS on your own vs. with a therapist in Rochester, NH
Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy is more than just a method, it’s a way of being. As more people learn about this compassionate, non-pathologizing approach, a common question arises: Can I do this work on my own, or do I need a therapist? If you’re exploring IFS and wondering whether to go solo or work with a therapist in Rochester, NH, keep reading.
Let’s look at both the power of exploring your own system using IFS and when it’s wise to bring in professional support.
IFS Isn’t Just a Method: It’s a Paradigm Shift
IFS changes how we relate to ourselves, and to others. Instead of viewing symptoms like anxiety, procrastination, or reactivity as problems to eliminate, IFS invites us to see them as signals from parts of us that are doing their best to help. While our natural inclination is often to distract from or suppress uncomfortable feelings, IFS teaches us to receive them as communication from parts that need care and attention.
Many of our most frustrating behaviors are actually protective habits we developed to keep ourselves safe. These strategies may no longer serve us, but they are based in something real, and deserving of love and attention. In fact, these parts often cannot change until the more vulnerable parts they protect receive the care they’ve needed all along. That’s not resistance—it’s loyalty.
There is tremendous power in turning towards these parts with gentle curiosity. Once the parts that carry pain are tended to, our protectors can relax. They’re free to take on new, more helpful roles; and often, they’re relieved to do so.
Beneath all of these parts is your Self: a calm, compassionate, and curious core that can lead your internal system with wisdom. IFS is about learning to listen from this grounded place, rather than being hijacked by fear, shame, or control. When you lead from Self, everything shifts: how you relate to others, how you parent, even how you sit with your own emotions in quiet moments.
You’ll begin to notice when parts of you have taken over, and you can look for signs of Self-energy: calm, compassion, curiosity, connectedness, creativity, clarity, confidence, and courage. Just as importantly, you’ll begin to recognize when someone else’s parts have taken over, and respond with more understanding. That outburst from your partner? Probably a protector, not their core Self.
Even before you experience the transformational healing of unburdening, IFS starts to change your perspective. It gives you a new language for your internal world, and a new way to relate to yourself and others.
How to Explore IFS on Your Own
Since IFS is a way of being rather than an intervention, there are many meaningful ways to lean into this new way of experiencing yourself. Whether you're just beginning to identify and connect with your parts, checking in with them between sessions, or continuing your inner relationships after therapy has ended, exploring IFS on your own can be both meaningful and powerful.
Here are a few ways to begin or deepen your solo IFS practice:
Learning
If you’re new to IFS, there’s a wealth of resources to help you understand how it works. Books, podcasts, blogs, and even Youtube videos can introduce you to key concepts like parts, Self-energy, and what inner healing looks like through IFS. These tools help you understand how IFS conceptualizes how human systems function, and how healing happens through compassionate inner connection.
If you’re someone who enjoys digging deeper, there’s plenty of accessible brain science and research supporting why IFS is so effective. There are also experiential trainings and workshops available for those that want a more structured or immersive learning experience.
Connecting
Once you’re familiar with the basics, you might want to explore guided meditations designed to help you meet and get to know your own inner system. Many people find it helpful to use a journal or IFS-specific app to track what they notice: which parts tend to show up in certain situations, what they say, how they feel in the body, and how they relate to other parts. You can even harness the power of AI to deepen your IFS journey.
This kind of ongoing inner connection builds awareness over time. Some people develop a daily check-in practice using one or more of the tools above. You’ll get to know your own parts and begin to notice (with compassion) when you’re blended with a part, as well as when you feel grounded in your Self.
Expressing
As you deepen your understanding and awareness of your parts, it can be a powerful exercise to allow parts to be expressed through art, movement, writing, or music. This kind of creative expression taps into Self-energy naturally and gives parts the freedom to be seen and understood in a new way. Sometimes, the parts that struggle to communicate in words can pour themselves onto a page or canvas with surprising clarity, or connect with your body through movement or sound.
These externalized expressions allow parts to feel both seen and separate, which helps deepen your relationship with them.
Centering
Connecting with your Self-energy (your calm, compassionate, wise core) often happens naturally when parts begin to relax and open space. We can also be intentional about cultivating moments in our lives when the qualities of Self are more likely to emerge.
Many of us glimpse Self-energy during moments of stillness, presence, or deep connection. For some, it comes while walking through the woods, standing barefoot in the grass, or watching the wind move through the trees. Others find it while immersed in creative flow: writing, painting, cooking, or moving their bodies with skill and passion. Still others experience it through spiritual practices like prayer, meditation, or breathwork.
These moments often carry a felt sense of calm, clarity, creativity, and connectedness—signs that we’re anchored in Self. Returning to these practices regularly can help us stay connected to that grounded, compassionate center.
Over time, you may begin to recognize when a part has taken over and gently ask: “What part of me is showing up right now?” Even this small moment of awareness can shift your internal experience and create just a little more spaciousness inside.
Whether you're currently working with an IFS therapist in Rochester, NH, thinking about starting therapy, or continuing your healing journey independently, these practices can deepen your self-awareness, increase your internal compassion, and gently help you unblend from the parts that tend to take over.
When It Makes Sense to Work with a Therapist in Rochester, NH
While there’s much you can do on your own, there are times when having a compassionate, knowledgable (human) guide can make all the difference.
Here’s when working with an IFS therapist is especially important:
When you feel overwhelmed or flooded by what’s coming up
When protectors are strong and make it hard to connect to Self-energy
When you're navigating trauma, shame, or deep emotional pain
Most importantly, unburdening should be done with the guidance of a trained professional. This delicate part of IFS involves helping our most vulnerable parts release the burdens they’ve carried, often since childhood. A skilled IFS therapist can hold the space, track and guide the process, and ensure the unburdening happens gently, safely, and fully.
As a therapist in Rochester, NH, I provide the steady presence and structured support many people need to go deeper. I help clients slow down, turn inward, and stay grounded in Self as they meet the parts that are holding the most pain.
IFS Beyond the Therapy Room
When done well, IFS doesn’t begin and end in the therapy room. The deeper you go in this work, the more it naturally flows into how you move through the world. You start to notice your parts in everyday moments: when you're late for a meeting, having a hard conversation, or lying awake at night. Perhaps more importantly, you begin to bring Self-energy into those moments with intention, responding to yourself with more grace.
As an IFS therapist in Rochester, NH, I encourage clients to explore their inner world both inside and outside of sessions. Whether you're using guided meditations, journaling, artistic expression, or simply taking a quiet walk to connect with your Self-energy, these practices help reinforce the internal trust and awareness we’re building together.
Doing this kind of self-reflection between sessions often deepens the work. You might notice a protector who usually flies under the radar, or a vulnerable part that’s been quietly holding pain. When you bring those discoveries into therapy, we’re able to meet those parts with more clarity, compassion, and care. You’ll also be able to integrate the changes happening within, honoring and supporting parts that are taking on new, more aligned roles in your system.
When your therapy journey eventually comes to a natural pause or close, these same practices allow you to stay connected to your Self, to your parts, and to the internal system you’ve developed a newfound understanding of.
IFS is something you grow into. It becomes a way of listening, responding, and being in relationship with yourself and with others that supports healing in all areas of your life.
Ready to Go Deeper with a Therapist in Rochester, NH?
If you’re looking for a therapist in Rochester, NH who offers deep, compassionate IFS therapy for adults ready to find relief and connect to their compassionate core, I’d love to support you.
Whether we meet in person or online from anywhere in New Hampshire, our work together can be a powerful next step.
Exploring IFS solo can be extremely fulfilling, but you don’t have to journey alone. Book a free 15-minute consultation to see whether deepening your inner work with a therapist is the right fit for you.
